Your Brit Lit teacher and my American Gothic professor sound like they'd really get on. We had Edgar Allan Poe mentioned in just about every single seminar and lecture, even when we'd finished studying the Gothic and moved on to completely unrelated literature!
Your maths teacher sounds like a total shitbag, with no idea of respect, rights, or rational thought. I am incredibly sorry that someone made you a victim of long-term abuse, there's no excuse for it and it makes me extremely angry to think that someone I know has been put through something like that. You do seem like a very strong person, and your anger at this shows how you've managed to use your experience to form very positive views on the subject of victim-blame - i.e. it shouldn't exist - and that's not an easy thing to do! *hugs*
I didn't mean at all to criticise your wording - it's too bad the internet doesn't have inflection, LOL! It's just something that bugs me, because it's so individually defensive even if it is well-intentioned - and some of my irritation comes from the fact that I don't notice it at first. My instinct is to go, "That's nice, good on them!" and then I think and realise that I shouldn’t have that response, that it's all part of how society has instilled in everyone (including myself in some ways, despite growing up in quite a liberal family) this belief that men are stronger and women are weaker. Even though I don't believe that, there are these little attitudes that permeate my outlook just because this is still a world where men are seen as the stronger race - and I catch myself thinking things that are ingrained in me, but that I know aren't right.
Physically, women are not as fast, or as strong, and their emotions work in different ways, but that does not make us prey. Those things are not liabilities, and they certainly do not, as the theory that we are all "temptresses" implies, make us deserving of rape.
I think the thing is, if she were to issue some sort of statement - preferably with a retraction and an apology to the victim she wrongly assigned blame to - that said she realised she had made some grave errors in her judgement on printing this article, and that she obviously needed to think very hard about exactly why what she said was wrong, then I think it would be okay to back off. But as a 50 year old woman whose job is to offer advice, she really needs to make sure that she doesn't just get defensive, and that she really tries to make sure that her advice is good.
I half think that she printed the article to be controversial - that "Sobering advice for rape victim!" title makes me think she was trying to make a point. I just don’t think she had any clue how harmful making that - invalid - point could have on a girl who is a victim, and in no way of her own actions and judgement. Yes, going into a room, alone, with a guy who wants sex while you do not and are in a physically vulnerable situation, is inadvisable - but that is not a situation that should inevitably lead to rape. It is entirely the man's responsibility not to rape her. God, this makes me furious.
no subject
Your maths teacher sounds like a total shitbag, with no idea of respect, rights, or rational thought. I am incredibly sorry that someone made you a victim of long-term abuse, there's no excuse for it and it makes me extremely angry to think that someone I know has been put through something like that. You do seem like a very strong person, and your anger at this shows how you've managed to use your experience to form very positive views on the subject of victim-blame - i.e. it shouldn't exist - and that's not an easy thing to do! *hugs*
I didn't mean at all to criticise your wording - it's too bad the internet doesn't have inflection, LOL! It's just something that bugs me, because it's so individually defensive even if it is well-intentioned - and some of my irritation comes from the fact that I don't notice it at first. My instinct is to go, "That's nice, good on them!" and then I think and realise that I shouldn’t have that response, that it's all part of how society has instilled in everyone (including myself in some ways, despite growing up in quite a liberal family) this belief that men are stronger and women are weaker. Even though I don't believe that, there are these little attitudes that permeate my outlook just because this is still a world where men are seen as the stronger race - and I catch myself thinking things that are ingrained in me, but that I know aren't right.
Physically, women are not as fast, or as strong, and their emotions work in different ways, but that does not make us prey. Those things are not liabilities, and they certainly do not, as the theory that we are all "temptresses" implies, make us deserving of rape.
I think the thing is, if she were to issue some sort of statement - preferably with a retraction and an apology to the victim she wrongly assigned blame to - that said she realised she had made some grave errors in her judgement on printing this article, and that she obviously needed to think very hard about exactly why what she said was wrong, then I think it would be okay to back off. But as a 50 year old woman whose job is to offer advice, she really needs to make sure that she doesn't just get defensive, and that she really tries to make sure that her advice is good.
I half think that she printed the article to be controversial - that "Sobering advice for rape victim!" title makes me think she was trying to make a point. I just don’t think she had any clue how harmful making that - invalid - point could have on a girl who is a victim, and in no way of her own actions and judgement. Yes, going into a room, alone, with a guy who wants sex while you do not and are in a physically vulnerable situation, is inadvisable - but that is not a situation that should inevitably lead to rape. It is entirely the man's responsibility not to rape her. God, this makes me furious.