10 Things I Absolutely Suck At

[snowdarkred]

10 Things I Absolutely Suck At

 

 

10. Driving. I'm getting better, but I feel sorry for anyone who has to share the road with me. I suck. I haven't hit anyone (yet), but I fear that it's only a matter of time before it happens, and when it does, it will probably be my fault. This is because of Numbers 5, 4, 3, and possibly 1.

 

9. Painting. I can draw somewhat decently at times, but put a paintbrush in my hand, and it's like I'm a six year old taking her first art lesson. Which is funny, when one considers that I went to an art magnet school for three years. Yeah, that didn't work out.

 

8. Cooking. I set a microwave on fire. A microwave. I once burned a perfect circle into the cheep counter-top. My left hand, which I used to play the violin for over four years, is now very much smoother than my right hand because I burned the callouses off the tips of my fingers. (Apparently, burners become hot when one puts them over an open flame. Yeah, not one of my brightest moments.)

 

7. Speaking foreign languages. I can usually pick up and understand the written form of whatever it is alright, but speak it out loud? And I have no idea what the hell they're saying. My Spanish teachers and Japanese teachers can confirm this. Also, on a somewhat related note: I am terrible at reading out loud, even in English. Really, really, really bad. It doesn't matter if you have me read “The Giving Tree,” I will mess it up. Something about translating the words from the page to the air just doesn't work with me. I know the words, I understand the words, hell, a lot of the time I even use those words regularly, but when I read them aloud? I fail. Every. Time.

 

6. Doing my chores. For example, I am currently four loads of laundry behind. Luckily, I have such a huge wardrobe due to thrift stores and hand-me-downs that it's only a majorly pressing matter every other month or so. But still: Chores.

 

5. Focusing. I can't say I'm ADD because 1.) that's severely overused, and 2.) I have not been formally diagnosed with it. I've had various people that are in the medical field tell me that they think I'm ADD, but none of them were doctors, so it doesn't really count, does it?

 

4. Behaving age-appropriately. I'm told that I either act like a disillusioned thirty year old, or an emotional thirteen year, depending on the day. I can giggle for hours over an inane comment made by some character on a television show. Or I can give you an economic break down of just how the Alliance is screwing the citizens of the Firefly 'verse, starting with their socioeconomic distribution and working my way up to education and corruption and the links between them. Ahem. It's not like I've thought about it before. >_> In reality, I am still, technically, in my teens while being an adult.

 

3. Remembering stuff not related to either fandom or, well, fandom. I can recall almost every signle book, movie, etc. that I've ever consumed for the past ten years, but I can't tell you where my house keys are right now. Seriously, I have no flippin' clue. I'm hoping that they're still in my house at least, but I can't be sure as I haven't seen them for three days. Oops.

 

2. Acting. Really. I feel a little like that character from Leverage: I'm decent at lying to someone's face, but put me on a stage? Oh my gawd, I suck. I wouldn't inflict me on anyone. Ugh.

 

1. Math. My God, the math. I am terrible. Very, very terrible. Thank whoever you pray to that someone somewhere figured out how to make a calculator affordable.