snowdarkred

Title: a list for your rainy days and lonely nights
Author:

snowdarkred
Word Count: ~700
Pairings: girl!Jensen/Cougar
Rating/Warnings: PG-13. Light swearing, sexual themes.
Author's Note: Movie!verse AU. Part of the alive with the glory of love 'verse. This is so sweet I thought my teeth were going to rot while I wrote it.

Summary: Jocelyn “Jake” Jensen makes Carlos “Cougar” Alvarez a list....

a list for your rainy days and lonely nights

I thought you hated me when I first came on the team. You were always looking, and to be honest? It creeped me the fuck out.
I was never more nervous, about anything, than I was when I introduced you to my sister and niece. Especially my niece. I wanted them to like you so bad, and I was terrified you wouldn't like them at all.
I haven't forgotten what Pooch said about me being a good mother. I want to find out if he's right.
There's no one else I'd rather find out with.
You drive me crazy when you do that thing with your lips while you line up your shots. Hot damn.
You're the only person I'll ever want at my back.
Remember when you walked in on me with that chick in the bathroom at that seedy bar in Moldova? I may have taken her back there on purpose. The look on your face is still one of my favorite expressions ever.
I lied about feeling sick that one day. I just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle.
(Thank you for pretending to believe me.)
I'll never leave you behind.
Those days at the doll factory next to you were what kept me sane after the shit storm in Bolivia.
One day, we're going to have that damn white picket fence, if I have to hack every government database from here to Moscow to do it.
I have a lot of fantasies involving your hat. We haven't even tried them all.
If it came between saving you and saving my niece, I'm sorry, but I would chose my niece.
You make me smile just by the tilt of your head.
When you asked me how I learned to shoot, I never answered. I'm not sure how to explain someone like my mother, and I never, ever want you to meet her. I don't think you'd survive the experience.
I wish Clay had never told any of you about what happened to me. I don't need pity, and I don't want anyone to treat me differently because of it. I was tempted to do more than just knee him in the groin, the bastard.
As much as I love it when you go down on me, I'd rather go down on you. You have no idea what sounds you make, do you?
I know you were the one who sent my niece that soccer ball. I'll achieve my goal of getting you into a Petunias shirt eventually. Even if I have to play dirty and have her ask. I know you'd do it if she begged you to.
You talking dirty Spanish is forever going to be one of the best experiences of my life.
Should I die, there's a box hidden in the back the closet of my sister's guest room. In it is all the things I couldn't tell you while I was still alive. I'm sorry I never worked up the courage.
I made you a mix tape once. Shut up, it's sweet and you know it.
I didn't think I'd fit in with the team. I'm so glad I did.
I'd rather dream of you than anyone else.
I miss Roque. Even after everything, I still find myself turning to say something snarky to him and then remembering... he's dead. And a traitor.
I know what you did to my old CO. I'd say thank you, but you know that I would much rather have done it myself.
You ripping that guy's ear off when he grabbed me... I'm not going to lie, that was some freaky shit. Thanks.
My greatest fear is that one day another sniper will get the jump on you, and I won't be able to get to you in time. Don't die on me. It's not allowed.
I love you.
If you don't propose to me soon, I'm going to propose to you. I know you're a traditionalist, so I'm giving you fair warning. Buck up and get on one knee already.