Dark Chocolate and Red Wine [3/5]
Sep. 18th, 2009 09:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snowdarkred----
He showed up for work on time that day. McGee spilled his coffee in surprise. Gibbs didn't say anything, and Kacia wasn't there. She showed up late, breathless, and complaining about traffic, reminding him of Ziva for the first time. Gibbs silently pointed to her desk and gave all of them the silent treatment. Tony found himself not caring. He was in a good mood, and the ticket felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket all the way through to his flesh. He took his lunch break with Ducky and told the older man about the whole thing.
Ducky gave the good advice to take it slow and not to get ahead of himself. Tony laughed and bounced and tried not to knock the silverware off the table. He finished up his reports and spent the rest of the day pouring over cold case files and finally responding to the tech staffs' pleas to empty his overstuffed inbox. Friday was only forty-eight hours away.
----
Tony didn't notice that Gibbs was following him until he was halfway to his apartment. He spotted Gibbs' car purely by chance and was confounded when it mirrored his various turns. He pulled into a gas station and waited. Gibbs pulled in after him and got out of his Mustang. Tony rolled down the window of his own shitty replacement car and looked Gibbs straight in the eye.
"What. The. Hell."
Gibbs shuffled slightly, looking faintly embarrassed but not totally. Tony just felt angry. "You're going to see Kort," Gibbs said.
"How the hell do you know?" Tony asked, his anger leaking out at the seams. Ducky would never betray Tony's confidence. Who was Gibbs to keep tabs on him?
"I had Abby run the prints from the coffee cup you've had sitting on your desk for the past two days. They matched."
"You had no right—!" Tony bit out.
"Kort is dangerous, Tony," Gibbs said. "You've been wearing long-sleeves for the past few days. Bruises on your arms?"
Tony didn't answer. He rolled up his window and sped off, leaving Gibbs standing alone in front of the gas station.
----
The movie was a foreign film airing at a little theater that Tony loved. They always played the classics there, and they weren't afraid of controversy. Kort was waiting for him out front. The movie was in French and Tony had seen it before, but it was a good film and Tony enjoyed how his shoulder brushed against Kort's in the darkened room. When the movie ended, they went back to Kort's place because Tony couldn't be sure that Gibbs wasn't staked out in front of his.
Trent Kort's apartment was surprisingly comfortable. Instead of the austere gray-scale styling he expected, Kort's furniture was warm and rounded, the kind that begged one to curl up and read a good book. There were several bookshelves along the wall and several books stacked on the coffee table. Tony was amused to see McGee's latest thriller open on the armchair.
Afterward, Tony attempted to make an omelet and failed miserably while Kort laughed at him goodnaturedly as he dumped the burned remains into the trashcan. The CIA agent grabbed a fresh pan and started over, showing Tony how to tell when it was ready to be flipped. They ate the omelet in silence, both sitting at Kort's dining room in their boxers. Tony had fresh bruises on his arms and a craving for Zinfandel and dark chocolate and It Happened One Night for the first time in months.
They went out for lunch at a little Italian place that was out of the way, and Tony ordered for them both. Kort smirked at him and told him to call him "Trent". Tony felt warm inside until he looked at one of the waitresses and found himself rushing to the bathroom to throw up. Trent stood in the doorway and helped Tony get to his feet. Tony didn't tell Kort that the waitress looked like Paula's twin sister because he already knew, just like he already knew about Tony's coffee preferences and the Bailey Johnson case. Tony leaned on Trent on their way back to the table.
----
Tony and Kort didn't talk much, but silence was a kind of language, one that Trent was fluent in and Tony was learning. Tony didn't have to say anything to Kort because there was nothing to say. Kort didn't say anything to Tony because Tony needed quiet and Kort didn't need to talk. Their time together consisted of films and food and sex and not much else. Tony went to work with bruises covered by cloth and felt more human for it. He liked the sex he had with Kort and the way it made him feel. He made jokes with Kacia and teased McGee and pretended that everything was normal.
Tony felt better as time went on.
----
Tony felt Gibbs before he even saw the open door, felt his presence in Trent's apartment. Trent drew his gun and motioned for Tony to step behind him. Tony did so, not bothering to point out that he already knew who had broken into the cozy space Tony was starting to think of as 'home'. Kort entered after whispering for Tony to stay outside. Tony sat on the bench beside the door and tried to eavesdrop.
"Gibbs," he heard Trent say. "What the hell are you doing in my apartment?"
"Back off, Kort," Gibbs snarled. "Back off."
"Back off what? DiNozzo? Please, Gibbs, he's a grown man. Tony," Kort emphasized, "can make his own decisions."
"What do you want from him?" demanded Gibbs.
"Nothing." Trent sounded at ease, like this was a normal conversation. Gibbs probably had a gun on him. "That's just it. I don't want a damn thing from him."
"That's not like you, Kort," Gibbs barked. "You use people. You twist them. And I want to know what you're doing to DiNozzo!" Gibbs definitely had a gun on him.
"Now you're just projecting. Get out of my home, Gibbs, before I shoot you."
Tony endured the awkward pause from within the apartment as Gibbs analyzed the threat. He heard footsteps coming toward the door and then Gibbs was there, realizing that Tony had been outside the door all along.
"Tony...." Gibbs said slowly.
"Can it, Gibbs," Tony responded. "I don't care."
Gibbs left without saying anything else.
----
Tony had good days, bad days, and really bad days. The morning after the tension filled scene at Trent's apartment was a really bad one. Tony felt all the things that he and Gibbs had never said welling up inside him, threatening to consume him. He had more hickeys and bruises than usual. He rolled up his sleeves in a defiant gesture to Gibbs, who looked away pointedly and refused to rise to the bait. Ducky shook his head over it and recommended again that Tony slow down. Abby grinned at him and wiggled her eyebrows. McGee stuttered and was generally awkward. Kacia just rolled her eyes.
The silence in the office was different than the silence between him and Kort. This silence was the deadly, the calm before the storm, the stillness before the violent attack. It made Tony uneasy.
----
Gibbs didn't apologize, but then, Tony hadn't expected him to. Instead, Tony found a coffee cup and a bar of milk chocolate on his desk one morning. Tony drank the coffee and put the candy bar away and left it at that.
----
Tony knew that Kort wasn't the answer. But then again, Tony didn't even know the question. Trent was a place holder, something to get himself from point (a) to point (b) without losing it. The reasons behind Kort's involvement were a mystery, but if Tony had to guess, it was either a way to pass the time or a way to piss Gibbs off. Or both.
Tony didn't care. He liked spending time with Trent because he really didn't know the man and because their relationship was uncomplicated. If you care about someone, they're more likely to hurt you. Trent wasn't out to hurt him. Trent was just passing the time and didn't mind doing it with Tony. They watched foreign cinema and talked to each other in Italian. Trent showed Tony how to cook, and Tony showed Trent a good time. Tony went to bed satisfied that their arrangement was just the thing he needed.
Gibbs stayed in the background, watching Tony like a hawk, waiting to swoop in and fix everything. But Tony hadn't forgotten that Gibbs was just as broken as he was. Gibbs just didn't have someone like Trent Kort.
----
Tony knew that it was only a passing thing, so he wasn't surprised when he found Trent's apartment completely deserted one day, weeks after the Gibbs' Invasion of Privacy Incident. The furniture was gone, there were discolored rectangles where there used to be pictures and bookcases, and the rooms were empty. The place smelled of Lysol and Windex. Trent Kort had wiped everything down, destroying any evidence that a man of that name had ever lived here. There probably hadn't actually been a man of that name living here; Tony had never asked if Trent's name was really Trent.
There was a note in the kitchen.
Tony wondered as he stared at it. It was unlike the careful CIA agent to leave any trace of himself behind. Tony rubbed his eyes and checked again, but the note was still there. Addressed to him.
Tony,
As you can tell, I have already left. They finally reassigned
me to active duty again. I apologize that I am unable to tell you
in person. The days we've had together have been a delight.
Call if you need anything.
Trent
Underneath was a phone number.
Tony took the note and folded it. He slid it into the same pocket where that first movie ticket still lived, a reminder that for every dark day, there is someone willing to drag you out of it.
He left the spare key on the counter.
----
He didn't tell anyone. Instead, he took Abby out for a night on the town and crashed at her place. Her guest bedroom was becoming uncomfortably familiar. Abby was good about not asking questions when it really mattered. She was insanely curious about everything, but if you really needed a shoulder to cry on with no questions asked, Abby was the Goth to go to.
It took Tony half the day to realize that he wasn't torn up. He didn't feel left behind, or lost, or even very sad. He was okay, more okay then he had been before...before Trent swooped in and fixed everything.
Funny. Tony had always thought his guardian angel would look like Gibbs.
----
Somehow, Gibbs found out, of course. It wasn't from Abby, because she'd sworn up and down she wouldn't tell anyone anything, even under the threat of a Gibbs Death Glare. But Gibbs was Gibbs and Tony wasn't surprised when he found his boss sitting outside his apartment shortly after he left Abby's. They hadn't talked about Kort since the Not So Fun and Really Not Appropriate Apartment Invasion Thing. Tony had filed his relationship with Trent under "None of your business, boss" and all but dared Gibbs to try something. Gibbs hadn't.
But now Gibbs was sitting outside his apartment, and Tony had a bad feeling about it.
"He's gone," Gibbs said, because Gibbs wasn't one to dance around something.
"Yeah," Tony replied, because Tony was tired and confused and really not in the mood.
Gibbs paused as if he was searching for something to say. After a long silence he said, "How're you?"
"He left me a note," Tony said, because he was pretty sure that was what Gibbs really wanted to know.
"Oh," Gibbs said. Tony didn't know what else to do. Part of him wanted to go to Gibbs' house and sit in his basement and watch the older man work on his boat, but Tony hadn't done that in months. He didn't know if he was still welcome, still a part of the team even. There was too much unsaid, undone, un-anything. The silence between him and his coworkers was stretching, expanding, pushing Tony away.
He wondered if this was what Ziva felt.
He realized that he hadn't thought of Ziva in a long time. It made him want to get drunk, quick and hard.
"Don't come into work with a hangover tomorrow," Gibbs said finally. The older man got to his feet and headed for the stairs, leaving Tony in front of his building wondering when Gibbs had started to read his mind again.
----
The overwhelming sympathy from the office was expected. He didn't know how the Entire International Staff of NCIS had found out about his latest ended relationship, but they did. Damn gossips. Tony cleared out his inbox and wondered if they'd ever get their own love lives and stop worrying over his. McGee left a sticky note on his desk covered in cramped writing that Tony struggled to read. It was amazing how small the junior agent could scribble. Tony read the note and suppressed a smile; a warm feeling was growing somewhere in the vicinity of his chest.
Kacia gave him a bar of milk chocolate because she had seen Gibbs give him one before and because expressing herself was as hard for her as it was for the rest of their team. Tony wanted to thank them all, even though he didn't actually feel depressed about Trent's absence. Their collective heart was in the right place even if they missed the details.
----
Tony went clubbing and drinking and partying, but it was more casual than hard, more just-passing-the-time than let-me-not-remember-this-the-next-morning. He met a few people, slept with a few people, and just let the world go. He hung out at his movie theater and argued with the stuffy, artsy, theater professors, who, he swears, come just to debate nineteenth century German film with him. He laughed at it a bit, until he remembered that they all thought he was a film professor like them, because he told them that, as part of his Jeanne relationship cover.
He didn't tell them it was a lie. In some ways he'd never leave that case, that relationship.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-09-18 11:48 pm (UTC)There was too much unsaid, undone, un-anything.
Ahh Gibbs being on Tony's wave-length again
no subject
Date: 2009-09-19 12:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-20 02:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-20 02:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-25 11:11 pm (UTC)I'm glad to see that spark of warmth towards his teammates coming back, too. Oh, and before I forget again, I've been meaning to comment on my amusement at seemingly every single member of staff NCIS has emailing their support to Tony *g*.
Laura.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-25 11:30 pm (UTC)I'm eager to hear what you have to say at the end of this :D
no subject
Date: 2010-12-08 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-08 12:05 pm (UTC)