Sometimes, I just want to fucking hit people

[snowdarkred]

Oh my god. Oh my god. I just. I hate people. I do. Jesus.

*****Warning: talk of suicide and suicidal thoughts*****

We're covering depression in my psychology, and we were talking about suicide and the reasons behind it and the gender differences behind it and blah blah blah.

So, there's this girl in the back who is one of the most obnoxious, know-it-all people I've seen since, well, high school. She has an opinion and story about everything. I mean, she just talks and talks and talks, which is annoying, but I can deal, because I work in a fucking restaurant, and I know how to deal with assholes. She sits far away from me and I'm happy with that.

Well, today. Oh god.

I've had bad, baaaad depressive episodes. I haven't attempted suicide, thank god, but there have been moments. I know I have a problem and I've gotten help for it in the past. I'm coping.

Anyway, we were talking about how women have more suicide attempts but men have more suicide successes - as in, women poison themselves and slit their wrists, and guys blow their brains out.

And Miss Obnoxious goes into this long spiel about how the reason for that is that women? Want attention. That's why women don't 'really try' to kill themselves. They don't. Really. Try.

Not because they're suffering. Not because they have a problem or problems. Not because they have a legitimate reason. No.

We women only play at suicide because we want attention. Hell, we need a fucking fainting couch, we're so fucking dramatic. I mean, we're women right? We get the vapors, don't ya know? Histrionics. Fuck, it's amazing we're even independent at all.

>:|

Yeah. Great. What a fantastic way to start my day, right? Jesus fucking Christ. Sometimes, I despair for humanity. Actually, no. Most of the time. Most of the time, I despair for humanity.

Fuck it. I'm going to go watch more Glee. I need a pick-me-up.

Comments

[erkn.livejournal.com]

People are so stupid, omd. I despise people who talk about things that they know nothing about. Hopefully, other people in your class realize what a dumb bitch she is.

[snowdarkred.livejournal.com]

I think they do. I hope they do. The prof saw me basically shaking in anger and asked me if I had anything to say in response. When I told her that, no, I didn't want to talk, my voice shook. Just, fuck, you know? I didn't want it to become a Thing, because it's just not worth it. But I couldn't help but being upset. I mean, I was fine with the discussion up 'til then, because I don't trigger easily (thank heavens) but hearing that chick just belittle it like that - ugh. I can't stand it. It's a serious fucking issue, okay, and claiming that they're attention seekers is just so eighties. :/

[shanachie-quill.livejournal.com]

*smacks the fucking bitch in your class*

Really? Does she fucking know anything? God fucking damn it...

Yeah...I'm so pissed on your behalf and the behalf of other people...I can't even type right now.

[snowdarkred.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you, sweetie. Yeah. It was...not a fun class. :/

BUT! On a brighter note, I hung out with The Boy again today. :3 And I looked fabulous! :D

[shanachie-quill.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sure it wasn't.

Woot! Glad you hung out with the boy! And looked fabulous doing it!

[jenna_marianne]

Hmmm, maybe she's projecting. It seems like attention is really important to her, so she thinks that's what everyone else is after.

God, way to trivialize the issue, and blame the person in need.

[snowdarkred.livejournal.com]

Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. I still think it's a shitty thing to say, you know? I mean, I thought we got over that Women get the vapors and are hysterical and ~weak shit. Or at least, I thought most women stopped believing it, because it's wrong. :/

Grrrr, I just really, really don't like stupid people. Even if - and this is a big if that I'm only giving because the reasons to want to commit suicide are different for individuals - the person/woman in question wants attention--that doesn't make it any less tragic. Don't marginalize it just because you perceive their reason to be 'not good enough'.

Fucking hell. I'm just so tired of the stupid. :( *bangs head against wall*

[jenna_marianne]

Agreed!

[weird-fin.livejournal.com]

Fuck it. I'm going to go watch more Glee. I need a pick-me-up

I actually shuddered and cringed at this. After despairing about humanity I can not be serious with Glee. Glee *makes* me despair at humaniy most of the time. :S

Don't know what that girl thinks...or why...if its a mix of her wanting attention or not understanding how bad it can feel or be for some people.

[snowdarkred.livejournal.com]

:P I like Glee. It's silly and contrived and so-not-serious and I love it because it's ridiculous on every level. :3

*sigh* I don't know what she thinks either, and I'm not sure I want to. I mean, really? Attention seeking? Did we travel back in time when I wasn't looking? Did the Doctor show up? Captain Kirk? Is Data around? Because I think we got screwed on what era we wound up in. :/

[weird-fin.livejournal.com]

I do too. But sometimes it IS serious (or tries to be) and bullying and stupid things in just makes me sad, because that's life. :(

Hehe, ah there are many many people still living with ideas from the past suicide issues just being one of the many.

[tygermama.livejournal.com]

Wow, holy internalized misogyny, Batman!

*HUGS* I am so sorry you had to sit in the same room with that.

[snowdarkred.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks. At least I only have, like, three more classes with her, right?