Sometimes, I just want to fucking hit people

[snowdarkred]

Oh my god. Oh my god. I just. I hate people. I do. Jesus.

*****Warning: talk of suicide and suicidal thoughts*****

We're covering depression in my psychology, and we were talking about suicide and the reasons behind it and the gender differences behind it and blah blah blah.

So, there's this girl in the back who is one of the most obnoxious, know-it-all people I've seen since, well, high school. She has an opinion and story about everything. I mean, she just talks and talks and talks, which is annoying, but I can deal, because I work in a fucking restaurant, and I know how to deal with assholes. She sits far away from me and I'm happy with that.

Well, today. Oh god.

I've had bad, baaaad depressive episodes. I haven't attempted suicide, thank god, but there have been moments. I know I have a problem and I've gotten help for it in the past. I'm coping.

Anyway, we were talking about how women have more suicide attempts but men have more suicide successes - as in, women poison themselves and slit their wrists, and guys blow their brains out.

And Miss Obnoxious goes into this long spiel about how the reason for that is that women? Want attention. That's why women don't 'really try' to kill themselves. They don't. Really. Try.

Not because they're suffering. Not because they have a problem or problems. Not because they have a legitimate reason. No.

We women only play at suicide because we want attention. Hell, we need a fucking fainting couch, we're so fucking dramatic. I mean, we're women right? We get the vapors, don't ya know? Histrionics. Fuck, it's amazing we're even independent at all.

>:|

Yeah. Great. What a fantastic way to start my day, right? Jesus fucking Christ. Sometimes, I despair for humanity. Actually, no. Most of the time. Most of the time, I despair for humanity.

Fuck it. I'm going to go watch more Glee. I need a pick-me-up.

Comments

[snowdarkred.livejournal.com]

I think they do. I hope they do. The prof saw me basically shaking in anger and asked me if I had anything to say in response. When I told her that, no, I didn't want to talk, my voice shook. Just, fuck, you know? I didn't want it to become a Thing, because it's just not worth it. But I couldn't help but being upset. I mean, I was fine with the discussion up 'til then, because I don't trigger easily (thank heavens) but hearing that chick just belittle it like that - ugh. I can't stand it. It's a serious fucking issue, okay, and claiming that they're attention seekers is just so eighties. :/